The Art of Listening

SITTING IN A CIRCLE IN A CLASSROOM IN TCU’S ANNIE RICHARDSON BASS BUILDING, 11 social work master’s students waited for their first activity to begin. Many looked nervous, tapping their toes and shifting in their seats. Tee Tyler, associate professor of social work, told the students to split into pairs, with one person speaking for 60 seconds. The other person was not allowed to respond until the minute was up, at which point they would switch roles.

When the students turned their chairs toward each other to begin, their energy changed. They leaned closer to better hear, smiling and nodding to encourage each other.

The discussion topic was lighthearted (if they could talk to anyone living or dead, who would they choose?), but the purpose of the exercise was serious — to practice active listening, which means concentrating on what someone is saying to understand that person’s feelings or perspective. After students warmed up with one-on-one conversations, their next activity involved expanding a conversation to include the whole group.

The Interpersonal Classroom Model is a teaching method Tyler created that uses group dialogue to help students develop interpersonal skills such as active listening and giving constructive feedback.

“Dialogue is a way to realize that some of the things you thought were differences or conflicts were really just [a] misunderstanding,” Tyler said, “and if you understand the other person’s point of view some things that you think are a problem just disappear.”

INTERPERSONAL CLASSROOM MODEL

In 2023, Tyler conducted a study putting four faculty members, nine undergraduate students and two graduate students through a simplified version of the Interpersonal Classroom Model to see how student-faculty dialogue was affected.

“Teaching students how to represent their views … and also listen to other people and form collaborations to create change that makes our world better — that’s a good thing.”
Kathy Cavins-Tull

Participants filled out a pretest, then met for dialogue sessions once a month for five months. After each meeting, they completed a survey to reflect on the experience. He documented the study in an article published in November 2023 in the journal Social Work With Groups.

In post-test surveys, students said they appreciated discussing controversial subjects in an open-minded group; a few even reported feeling more hopeful or optimistic afterward. Several faculty members said they felt students in the group now viewed them in a more humanized manner.

“Through engaging in dialogue, you can actually change how you see everything,” Tyler said. “Your perspective on life, your perspective on what you find meaningful. … These things can be enhanced.”

In his 2017 study, “Interpersonal Classroom Model: Learning From Diversity in Group Practice Courses,” published in the social work journal Groupwork, Tyler wrote that he developed the model to “create an open environment where students can learn from the diversity existing within the classroom.”

The Interpersonal Classroom Model has four components that correspond to the four stages of experiential learning: Students take part in group dialogue, reflect on their experiences by completing an online journal entry, learn group-work concepts and set goals for their next group activity.

In the study, Tyler wrote that the model helps students “communicate across lines of difference,” encouraging empathetic discussion free from hostility. When two people actively engage with each other, Tyler said, other participants watch them bond and express empathy, which gradually makes the space feel affirming and compassionate. He said students then feel more comfortable taking risks and opening up.

THE VALUE OF VULNERABILITY

After the 2023 study, Tyler reached out to Lea McCracken, associate chaplain and the university’s church relations officer, about forming an ongoing program at TCU dedicated to promoting dialogue. The Dialogue Collective, a faculty interest group aimed at fostering relationship-building and increasing empathy, launched in late 2024.

Tee Tyler, left, and René Aguilar worked together on scholarship related to building empathy skills in social work. Photo by Glen E. Ellman and design by Kim Baker

Several other programs at TCU promote empathetic discourse. The Office of Religious and Spiritual Life hosts events through its Interfaith Initiative program, which promotes understanding among different faith groups. Events include Know Your Neighbor nights, where students gather to share a meal and discuss their religious traditions.

There, McCracken saw students from different faiths conversing peacefully. The curiosity and open-mindedness were powerful to observe, she said. “All of a sudden they realize at the core of their own humanity, their own being, their own religion, is this desire to seek truth and love and peace.”

Todd Boling, university chaplain, hosts a workshop that examines the importance of empathy in practicing and discussing religion. Boling said promoting empathetic dialogue supports TCU’s mission statement, which is “to educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and responsible global citizens.”

“Part of what we want to help people do,” he said, “is celebrate the things we share in common and learn from the things that make us different, to create an environment and a community where you not only feel comfortable and rooted in your own tradition but become more comfortable understanding the traditions of others.”

Boling recommended starting tough conversations by being vulnerable, which he said creates a space where others feel more open to being vulnerable themselves. “Too often, we want somebody else to go first and lead with their vulnerability,” he said, “but I think good things happen when someone steps up and is willing to be brave first.”

McCracken said even the quiet pauses during conversations can be important, as they give people a chance to process what was said and time to reflect. “When you are OK with silence,” she said, “it can be truly the difference between a making or a breaking of a conflict or a difficult situation.”

TCU also offers intentional dialogue training through its student affairs division. Philip Dodd, director of leadership and experiential learning, said the training is designed to teach students, faculty and staff groups how to employ dialogue to understand others.

AVENUES FOR CHANGE

When conflicts arise, said Kathy Cavins-Tull, vice chancellor for student affairs, TCU promotes civil discourse by working with students to ensure their voices are heard and any concerns are addressed.

“We have a lot of mechanisms by which students can raise their voices,” she said, including the TCU Student Government Association and Graduate Student Senate.

“Universities are probably the best places in the world for kind of that marketplace of ideas, and sometimes those ideas are in opposition to other people’s ideas,” Cavins-Tull said. “So teaching students how to represent their views … and also listen to other people and form collaborations to create change that makes our world better — that’s a good thing.”

Last fall, Student Affairs held a community table gathering ahead of the 2024 presidential election where students could talk about and learn to communicate their political beliefs.

Discussing topics such as politics and religion is difficult, Tyler said, because most people tend to surround themselves with others from similar backgrounds and viewpoints. It becomes harder to experience different or opposing perspectives, as people sometimes fear changing their opinions could mean losing their community.

Cameron Guttell, a senior social work major, said the group discussions in Tyler’s class were never geared toward finding solutions to conflict but rather to understand one another better. “We don’t necessarily need to sway people,” she said. “It’s more just having people listen.”

Tyler uses the Interpersonal Classroom Model to prepare social work majors for future group client sessions. But he said the skills students develop through the model could have an even wider social impact: unifying society. He believes a more peaceful future is possible if enough people take an interest in empathizing with and learning from others.

“Dialogue, to me, is a good reason for hope,” he said, “and I think hope is so important.”